Building Moral Fences

In the wake of the recent high-profile revelation of moral failure by a key evangelical leader, many articles about the temptations leaders face have appeared in various publications and on the internet. In Leadership Journal, James MacDonald spelled out "Five Moral Fences" he has built in his own life in order to help guard against moral sin, and then urges the reader to make such parameters public in their own sphere of ministry:

1. I will not, under any circumstances, ride alone in a car with a female other than my wife or an immediate family member.
2. I do not counsel a woman in a closed room or more than once.
3. I do not stay alone in a hotel overnight.
4. I speak often and publicly of my affection for my wife, when she's present and when she's not.
5. Compliment the character or the conduct, not the coiffure or the clothing.

Regarding rule number three, he writes,

I did my doctoral thesis on increasing the incidents of self-disclosure of sin among men. I have heard more confessions of addiction to various forms of sexual sin than any one pastor should have to hear, and it has changed me. It has left me deeply persuaded that "there but for the grace of God (and some moral fences), go I." I know myself too well.

Lengthy, unaccountable hours with manifold temptations available is a recipe for failure. Romans 13:14 instructs us to "make no provision for the flesh." Do I sound weak? I am! And when I forget that weakness, I cease to know God's strength (1 Cor. 12:10).

When I travel, I travel with someone. When that is impossible, I stay with a friend. When that is impossible I do not go. Period. Early in my ministry, that meant there were things I missed out on. Recently our elders have agreed to help fund a travel partner for me. If an outside ministry opportunity is deemed worthwhile, and the ministry cannot afford a second airfare, our church pays for me to take another pastor or elder, or best of all, my wife!

I think his advice is very, very good. At Hillcrest Church, for example, our Elders have made it possible for me to follow a similar policy regarding solo travel, authorizing me to take another individual along with me at church expense whenever I feel the circumstances warrant it, though they do not require me to do so 100% of the time. If I wanted to borrow someone's lake house for a personal prayer retreat, for example, and Teresa could not go with me because of family obligations, I would not have to take someone else along, but I would normally take a travel partner with me when going on an extended missions trip. Earlier this year, for instance, when I ministered in the Middle East, about the only time I was alone was on the Tel Aviv - Dallas direct flight connection through Atlanta.

I wonder, though, how men in the marketplace could implement such a policy. Most corporate environments necessitate at least occasional travel, at times or to places inconvenient or even annoying to their spouses. I am well aware that many such men do, in fact, fall prey to moral sin, but I would have to stop short of saying that no Christian male should ever pursue a business career on these grounds alone. One thing is sure, though, all men, whether spiritual leaders or marketplace ministers, including me, need to avail themselves of God's grace in order to remain morally pure. A very important key to that process is developing healthy "boundaries" around our hearts and minds and schedules that we will not violate under any circumstances.

What guidelines have you come up with in your life? I encourage you to share them with other readers via the "comments" function of the this webpage.